Introduction
The American Bird Listing Association (ABLA) was organized to promote bird listing. Any activity that does not assist the advanced birder in increasing his or her bird list totals, is strictly forbidden. Failure to observe the principles of the ABLA will result in the issuance of an ABLA reprimand (see below).
The issuer of this reprimand is a specially trained Birding Commando, who is sworn to enforce all ABLA tenets. It should be stressed, however, that at no time is the Birding Commando to be constrained by these rules.
Every day, a Trash Bird Committee of
distinguished listers will decide which common birds are too loud. Since this noise
interferes with hearing potential rarities, specially trained small-bird sharp-shooters
will cull the flocks of junk birds. It should be stressed, that the species
designated as a junk bird will vary from day to day, depending on the vagaries of
migration. Defoliants will be used liberally, to improve the visibility of
rarities.
American Bird Listing Association Reprimands
Reprimands are written for committing one of the following offenses:
 | Inadequate optical equipment (e.g. value less than $2000), or not carrying spotting scope at all times. | ||||||
| Driving less than 15 miles over the speed limit between destinations, or less than 40 mph at Pt. Pelee. | ||||||
| Birding with someone else in the car. | ||||||
| Admiring or discussing mammal, insect, amphibian, reptilian, plant, or any other non-avian life forms. | ||||||
| Desiring to go on the Marsh Boardwalk at Pt. Pelee. | ||||||
| Wearing a camera around neck. | ||||||
| Bringing children, pets, or non-birders into any potential birding location. | ||||||
| Spending any time observing or admiring birds, beyond that required to identify the bird. | ||||||
| Believing any bird identification made by a stranger. | ||||||
| Believing directions which include the phrase, "You can’t miss it." | ||||||
| Inappropriate dress:
| ||||||
| Spending more than 5 minutes on a meal. | ||||||
| Donating any time or money to conservation groups. | ||||||
| Bypassing a flock of gulls or shorebirds to get to work on time. | ||||||
| Arriving after dawn, quitting before dusk, or spending any non-work days with one’s family. | ||||||
| A third incorrect bird identification on any outing. | ||||||
| Observing No Trespassing, Private Property, or No Parking signs. | ||||||
| Failing to identify a bird while speeding down an expressway. | ||||||
| Feeling guilty about using taped bird songs or calls to improve bird sightings. |
Penalties
| A first reprimand entails a fine of no less than $200. |
| A second reprimand entails forfeiting your optical equipment. |
| Further reprimands will result in forceful ejection from the American Bird Listing Association, with the loss of all privileges thereof. This, of course, results in permanent banishment from all state and national parks. |
Please send comments about this page to: Jim Lesser.
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